| Well It Has Been a Dry Week |
[Oct. 14th, 2005|09:06 pm] |
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Well it has been a dry week. Too much driving around and work. I have GOT to party soon. Although today I did meet a guy and he serviced my pussy really really well ... he loves to do oral ... but he could not cum in my pussy ... so I had him masturbate for me while I masturbated and he did cum. He asked if I would see him again. And I said, "yes." But I'm not sure if I can. I need a little bit more hot and heavy pure sex. I love to get oral but I'm not in to that being all there is. If anyone ever reads this journal and you like to get your pussy sucked on really well and that is all you care about, let me know and I'll hook you two up!!!! I do have a new guy lined up for Monday. We have e-mailed and called back and forth trying to make it happen. He lives in Atlanta. Finally, I hope this works out to meet on Monday. Tuesday evening I have a GREAT evening planned with a new guy (also have been e-mailing and trying to work out a schedule). He will be in town on business and we are going to do a lot of exhibitionist play ... leaving curtains open just a bit in our hotel room ... going to the adult theater and playing for others ... going to a bar and playing with each other so others can see us ... lots of little games like that! I am so excited ... I love that kind of play. Other than that I have a vanilla get together at a restaurant with fellow bdsm'ers on Saturday night the 15th and then a BDSM PARTY on the 22nd ... I guess I shouldn't complain too much......... |
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| New Journal |
[Oct. 11th, 2005|11:43 am] |
This is now going to be my basic sex escapades but to read about my Domme sessions, please find me as Madam Bri . . . live journal name: madambri ... There I will talk about my submissives, upcoming sessions, etc.
Now for my latest sexual escapades: Saturday one of my subs came up and I'm mentioning this here because we also had sex ... it was not all domination as he was rewarded with fucking me and eating me out due to his wonderful servitude to me. We had lunch and then checked in to the hotel room he had reserved for us. Then we rode around and looked for possible buildings/homes we may could rent for our playspace. We found the perfect country home and it looks like we will lease it. More about this space can be found at Madam Bri's community, The Portal Beyond. Then we went to dinner and back to the hotel room. Details of the bondage can be found at my madambri journal. This particular sub has a wonderful mouth and he served me very well eating my pussy and rimming me the best I've experienced. He also fucked me very well.
No fucking on Sunday ... dammit.
Monday night I was delighted to find myself in the arms of a friend which ended up in an amazing fuck and lick fest for both of us. He had told me I could stay at his place when I was in Chattanooga so I took him up on it. We had a great time watching a movie and then finding ourselves attacking each other . . . He has to be the best lover I've ever had ... He knew exactly what to do at all times. I know that he gets around and is known as a wonderful lover. I'm glad to be able to add him to my list of lovers in Chattanooga! I have never been with a man who knew exactly where the spots were in my pussy and never missed a lick when making me cum over and over and over again. He is a smaller man but he is extremely strong and aggressive. Oh my goodness gracious. It was great! I hope we do get the chance to fuck again.
It is now Tuesday and I do hope to get fucked again today. My goal is get fucked at least once a day and more than that if possible!!!! I am a sex maniac, obviously.... other than that, I'm probably somewhat a normal person .... oh well . . . |
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| WooHoo! |
[Oct. 8th, 2005|01:27 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  devious | ] |
Wow....had an interesting night...the guy from the previous night that I met at the dive and he bought me a drink . . . called me and asked me to meet him at another bar tonight. Oh my goodness ... we got a little tipsy and really did all kinds of things in front of people . . . it was so much fun....there were a lot of women there showing their tits ... and men giving them money to suck their tits....it was a blast...I talked him in to going in to the women's bathroom and I sucked him off in one of the stalls....It was a wild night! I took my panties off and he fingered me at the table and I'm sure other people saw it . . . It was so hot! I am such an exhibitionist....then we would stand up and dance and he would stand behind me and squeeze my tits....while he ground his dick against my ass.....I was so fucking wet......then we went out to the the parking lot . . . and he fingered me good while I was leaning back on my truck. A guy walked by to his car and we didn't stop a bit..... |
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| Dive Bars and Me |
[Oct. 7th, 2005|12:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  horny | ] |
Okay so I finally decided to just head in to a little dive bar and see what would happen. I had on a very low-cut blouse so my boobs were very evident. I'm a BBW so I'm always interested to see who will be interested and who won't. Immediately when I walked in three men sitting at a table started staring in that way that men do when all they can see are boobs....I smiled and sat down at the bar which was the first thing you see when you walk in. Over to my far left were a couple of pool tables and some men were playing pool. At the left end of the bar was a lady twice my size and it looked like a young girl around 12 ... that was kinda weird. As soon as I ordered a beer and was about to pay the waitress said that someone had already paid for it and she pointed at the table with the 3 men. I turned and asked who had paid for it. It was an older nice-looking man and I thanked him. He began talking to me and asking me where I lived --- where I was from and I told him. He got up and came over when I told him I did some website work on the side. He told me that he owned a restaurant down the way and he was wanting to sell his famous sauce on the internet. I gave him my card and he told me he wanted to talk to me more about it so for me to come down to his restaurant soon and he would buy me lunch. I was really hoping this was going to lead to a sexual encounter of some sort but it didn't. He said he had had his 1/2 a beer and he needed to head home. He then leaned over and kissed me and I kissed him back. It felt really good. He then said for me to please come see him at his restaurant and then he kissed me again and gave me a really great embrace. Mmmmmmmm.... There was a nice guy a couple of chairs down from me at the bar. He was folding some paper like a paper airplane and he said to me, "I'm making you something." I said, "Is it a paper airplane?" And he said, "No, it's origami." He then proceeded to make me an origami frog that actually jumped when you touched its butt. I thought that was so sweet. He never made a move on me and I'm glad because he was just a nice simple guy. Then the drunks came in and this awful little man came over and kept brushing up against me and said, "Nice boobs ... but you sure a large lady, aren't ya?" I could not believe he said it quite that way. And then he said something stupid like, "But fat ladies like to fuck cuz they don't get fucked much." I turned to him and said, "I get fucked on a regular basis. Don't you worry about me!" ... I was really insulted and this drunk idiot thought he was making a pass at me..... I mean I totally understand that not everyone is attracted to a larger woman, but don't make an idiot of yourself over it. But, he was truly drunk so I guess that is his excuse. Drunks make me sick actually. I try not to be judgemental that way but it stems from my ex being a drunk so being around someone like that makes me feel ill and then for him to insult me and think he is making a pass ... it's ludicrous. I decided to leave after that as it was getting late. No dick for me tonight. Probably chose the wrong bar I guess. Of course, there weren't many people in there but I had hoped to score. I plan to go visit that guy at his restaurant. Who knows what might happen. Then I'll tell me new main lover all about it. He LOVES to watch me get fucked or at the least hear all about it.
Other news is that one of my subs who is just being the best sub ever is going to meet with me this weekend to look at rental property for the fetish services business I'm setting up. He is getting me a website domain name and we are going to get that set up for my business as well as set up for people to pay to see explicit pics and streaming video of what goes on at my playspace. I am very excited about the possibilities with this particular sub. He may become my favorite pet.
Again if anyone ever reads this blog, I would love to get ideas of fetish play you might be interested in.
Bye for now....
Bri |
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| Things are Getting Better and Better |
[Oct. 5th, 2005|03:19 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | horny | ] |
My new main lover is everything so far that I need in a full relationship. Sexually we share all the same kinks. He totally wants me to continue to fuck other men - with him there or not ... but he is not interested in fucking other women. He is a total switch and loves to be dominated as well as loves to dominate. His fantasies seem to have been written right in to my fantasies. He wants me to dress up slutty and us go out so other men look at me ... he wants to go to adult movie theaters and show other men my tits and pussy . . . and direct them to touch me wherever he wants them to touch me .... He wants me to perform CBT on him as well as spank him with belts, canes, whips ... He wants to handcuff me to a tree and cane me and then get down on his knees and eat out my pussy and all its juices. I mean just about anything I've fantasized about ... he has fanatasized about. Now that is all fine and good for a purely sexual relationship but since he is interested in us being more than just sexual partners .... it turns out we have a lot in common outside of the sexual relationship. He is looking for a woman to ride with him on his Harley ... go to nudist camps and hedonistic camps with him ... he is into the possibility of full-time RVing.... and he is retiring in about a year and a half. He has a third wheel. I have a motor home. He loves Mother Earth News and yet he is in the armed services. He has been to Iraq but he doesn't think it is the right place to be as a country. He has three grown kids that he is very close to. I have a grown son who I am very close to. He looks like a normal everyday person and so do I. Our families would have no idea what is really lurking in our dirty minds. It's perfect!
My past main lover that I was fretting about a few posts earlier is not really in the picture anymore. He just is too busy. I need someone as my main lover that is much more accessible. Having several lovers makes it easy for me to have sex any time I want but I always like having my main lover. Although I am totally attracted to his talent and other things about him ... it just wouldn't work and I certainly don't think he is into anything more than a casual sexual relationship anyway. And that is a place for my casual non-main lovers . . . so he may still be into that ... but not sure yet . . . we'll see . . .
This new guy doesn't have the personal success with any kind of creative talent but there are many more pluses ... |
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| I may have met the one ..... |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|04:13 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
I really didn't think this could happen. I met a man today who not only shares ALL of my kinks but we also have a LOT in common outside of the bedroom. It's kind of weird. And we BOTH felt it immediately when I walked in to the bar that he had suggested we meet at. Other engagements kept us from jumping in to bed right away but we definitely have a real attraction sexually as well as outside of that. We both have pretty normal everyday lives . . . nothing our families would be alarmed about for sure. But our families certainly do not have any inkling of what lurks deep in our psyches. It's perfect. AND he LOVES being a cuckold which is perfect for me as I would love to continue fucking other guys AND be in an otherwise committed relationship ... he has no desire to go out with other women if he finds the right partner but he LOVES knowing that I'm fucking other guys and coming back to him or fucking other guys in front of him. I can continue with my business plan of opening a fetish services business .... That is very erotic to him . . . so neither of us would have to change our lives one iota for the other ... if we end up together (only time will tell of course) ... but if we did ... being together would just ENHANCE each of our lives rather than really change anything. Win-Win situation.....perfect......more later....I really hope some people start reading this blog and give me feedback. I would really appreciate it . . . I'll add pictures to it eventually as well..... |
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| New business venture! |
[Oct. 4th, 2005|09:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
I have recently been looking around town for a place to rent so that I can set up my casual encounters there as well as go back in to the fetish services business that I had going back in California. I was talking to a friend here yesterday as I was giving her a ride to Chattanooga and it turns out she and her boyfriend were wanting to start an erotic website and also start charging to fuck for voyeurs. So we decided that the three of us would go in on renting a place and get it set up as a place to perform our erotic services. I am very excited about this possibility. There will NOT be pay for sex going on so it is perfectly legal. My casual encounters will include sex but those won't be paid encounters so it's all legit! We will set up everything there to be able to videotape sessions to use on the website as well as take pics for the site. We plan to set up their scene so that a voyeur can either be in the room, watch through a window, or watch through a peephole, or sit in another room and watch via a cam. Any ideas anyone has that may come across my blog feel free to offer ideas of other legal services we could set up. Hey and if you have a fetish you want to share with me and set up a session, that would be great as well. Just remember I am the domme in these fetish scenes so if you are a dom who wants me to submit to you that will not work. If you are a dom or domme who would like to talk about renting the space from time to time for your own scenes or sessions ... definitely let's talk. Also, if anyone has rental property in the Jasper area that they might want to do an exchange for services deal, please contact me immediately! My friends are younger and have an alternative look. I, as you may or may not know, am an older sexy curvy BBW with a domme personality for my fetish services. I can be dominant or submissive in a casual encounters type of scene. I am a very sex positive and honest about my needs and wants kind of woman. I keep this blog separate from my other blog only out of respect for my son and his family. I do not want to cause them any problems so I keep this part of my personality separate --- Here I am my doppleganger --- my shadow --- my delicious side ... I am actually a normal person who happens to have a deliciously dark side to my personality. |
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| A little blue |
[Oct. 3rd, 2005|06:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  complacent | ] |
Okay . . . so now I know my crush is not really as into me as I am into him. "HE'S JUST NOT INTO YOU!" ..... I really need to get that book and read through it so I won't get confused from time to time. Although I do pride myself on not usually getting confused, it does happen from time to time. I was able to really sort it out in my head and after writing it here it helped, too. I had sent him two e-mails over the weekend ... no answer ... and both were pretty heartfelt e-mails ... just about my being depressed ... wanting some company ... blah blah blah .... no answer ... then I read his blog and realized he was out of town for the weekend. We had just been together Friday night ... but I knew when I read that two things immediately. He had chosen to spend time somewhere else and had not chosen to spend it with me and also that he probably had not even read my e-mails yet. One made me feel a little blue and the other one a little relieved that he was not just ignoring me. But then Sunday evening came and went and I knew from his blog he was coming home on Sunday night . . . still no answer ... As I am reading this I am realizing I seem like some kind of stalker type girl or something ... yikes ... anyway, I knew already that Mondays are extremely busy days for him but I still thought he would send me a quick ... I'm really sorry I'm really busy but will e-mail you more later --- kind of e-mail . . . but nothing ... so I sent him an e-mail and just said that ... that I really would like at least a quick e-mail letting me know he had gotten my e-mail and that he would write more later ... and I asked if that was too much to ask... His answer? Yes that is too much to ask because I may not check my e-mail as often as I would like because I am so extremely busy. My answer to this? Okay...I get the message ... Then he answers right back that as long as I understand it may be because he is just busy not that he doesn't want to answer me . . . By this time, I'm a little peeved that he has enough time to do this e-mail bantering back and forth but he didn't have time to initially answer my e-mail. And I'm also convinced by now that I was right. HE IS JUST NOT INTO ME! ... so I sent him one last e-mail back saying ... I totally understand. I'm really not stupid! ... I know it sounds childish but you know what? I cannot continue to see him anyway. Because once I have a crush on someone and it is not returned? I have to move on. So if he never contacts me again, I'll be a little blue ... but I'll move on. Thank God I have that capability.
So for today's entry....I'm a little blue ... but I'll definitely get over it.
Other news ... I just found out that a couple of my friends were wanting to get into an erotic website biz and also offer their services as a couple to be watched by voyeurs for money. This fits in with my business interests so we may get a place together for our similar businesses --- nothing illegal! --- just fetish stuff so I am excited about this possibility of supplemental income venture. |
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| The Beginning of my Ramblings |
[Oct. 2nd, 2005|10:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
A friend of mine has a great blog and as he is a writer, a published author no less, I began to fall in love with his mind, his compassion, his talent just from reading his blog --- We became lovers before I even knew he had a blog or even that he was an accomplished writer. After beginning to read his blog, I realized that a blog is an interesting way to get to know someone. Unfortunately, this particular blog may be too raw for me to allow just anyone to view it. I need to protect the members of my family that may not understand some of the things I will write about.
So I start my online journal today, October 2, 2005 --- The temperature has begun to drop over the last couple or three days and I look forward to this time of year. This begins my 3rd month in an eco-village/education center in the Appalachians. I live in a one-room “bungalow” alone with my black cat of 10 years with no electricity, no running water, no propane or natural gas hookups. The main house down the path from my bungalow is provided electricity by the sun and running water comes from the spring located up the mountain from there. Propane and solar provide heated water when needed. There is a regular toilet as well as a compost toilet on the property.
I stopped taking my prozac about a week ago. I didn’t stop on purpose. I just kept forgetting to make sure I always had it with me and I just forgot. At first, I couldn’t feel it but now I am beginning to feel the effects of not having it in my system. It started with just little feelings of irritability - then a somewhat manic day where I was talking a LOT and probably fast as well. This stage is always a precursor to the fall where I crash and get deeply depressed and cry easily at the smallest provocation. I hate myself when I am at this point. I began taking it again today as I cannot allow myself to get too vulnerable or I’ll just make an ass of myself.
I am falling for one of my lovers and I just may have to end it because I cannot do that. It pisses me off when that happens -- so I usually try to choose lovers who I won’t fall for but I made a mistake this time in not finding out a little more about him before we first got together. I think the thing that makes me feel even more like I am falling for him is the fact that I actually WANT to believe the things he tells me while he is making love to me. Most of the time I could ignore the “sweet nothings” that men say to me while in the moment as just that “sweet NOTHINGS” … but instead when this lover says, “I’m crazy about you Bri.” or “I think we have something more than just sex Bri” or “I think about you constantly Bri“ or “I’m falling in love with you Bri” I end up wishing it was true. And that is just plain dangerous for me. I know intellectually that men say things like that when fucking you --- I think mainly because THEY think it is what YOU want to hear. In my case, I NEVER want to hear something like that unless it is TRUE…… and I’ve been too afraid it wasn’t true to ask him if it is true.
But then……I talk to myself and remind myself that --- we only get together to have sex. He has never asked you out on a real date. He has never asked you to come to his home. He doesn’t call you every night to “check in” . . . He rarely even e-mails you unless it is to set up a night to have sex. HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOO????? I feel like I’m having a scene from Sex in the City and I never even watched that show - just clips!
So I literally have to remind myself that if he wanted to know me in other ways other than fucking he would:
#1 Tell me this when we were not in the middle of fucking ---
#2 Invite me out on a real date ---
#3 Invite me over to his home ---
#4 Talk to me about me, my life, my goals, my dreams and also tell me about himself, his life, his goals, his dreams.
But …. None of this has happened.
I have decided that if I am not going to quit seeing him, then I have to be honest with him and let him know that this kind of love talk is not acceptable and my psyche cannot take it. It will be much easier for me to distance myself from any real emotional attachment if he ceases to talk that way.
My main lover back in California also had a lot about him that I could have easily fallen for but he never talked like that to me. He might say, “I love fucking you” as this guy has said as well … but that is not the same thing as saying “I love you” --- Well, obviously, it isn’t the same thing. So I was able to maintain the understanding in my own psyche that we were just friends with benefits.
With this guy it is different. He says those very very intimate words to me and then when he leaves me in the morning I don’t hear from him for a while until the next time it’s my turn for him to fuck…...
There are other guys that I have fucked who do want to get emotionally involved with me but I do not feel anything for them. There is one guy that is so sweet and nice and I really really want to like him as much as he likes me ... but it just hasn't happened yet. I think it is because I don't usually fall for guys unless they have some kind of creative passion. |
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